I saw a lukewarm review of this album in the free UK rag they distribute each morning “the Metro”. I hate the Metro. I once owned a hamster and desperate for bedding I lined his cage with a copy of the Metro. The next morning I awoke to find the hamster had committed suicide. Being the squeamish sort I placed the hamster and bedding nicely into a shoebox and buried it in the garden. So angry was Hammy’s spirit at being buried for eternity with a copy of that shit fiesta, it haunted me until I was forced to exhume his rotting corpse and bury him again elsewhere with a quality publication. The empty grave with the copy of the Metro still remains – no vegetation will grow there and animals avoid it.

My new hamster loves Basement Jaxx’s new album, Scars, and so do I. I saw them live a few months ago in London and they played a few tracks from this album. They were so good I actually came; much to the annoyance of the elderly couple in front of me. A mix of house, dance, jazz, rap and god knows – this energetic album is a worthy contender for the title “albums which are better than sex”.

Of particular mention are the title track “Scars”, “Feelings Gone” (with a blonde haired Sam Sparrow – link), My Turn, Twerk, What’s a girl gotta do? And Day of the sunflowers (We march on) with Yoko Ono. Yes that Yoko Ono.

My only criticism of this album would be that it’s forced to share shelf space in record stores with hugely inferior albums. Anyone considering not buying this album should seriously contemplate where they went so badly wrong in life.